Well, That's Family
Yes, "family is family" ... but what does that really mean. Honestly, that phrase has always been a little weird to me. It gets tossed around like it’s supposed to explain—and excuse—everything. Even the most ridiculous, harmful, or flat-out hurtful stuff.
Family is where many of us experienced our deepest joys ... and our deepest wounds. It’s where we learned to love, laugh, and celebrate—
AND where we learned to shrink, suppress, and survive.
These were the first people to show us how relationships work.
They helped shape how we saw ourselves and our place in the world.
And yet… they’re also the blueprint for why we keep ending up in the same emotional chokeholds. Different people. Different seasons.
Same patterns. Same confusion.
Aren't Y'all Tired Yet?
Because I KNOW I am.
As a therapist, I watch people—Black women especially—get caught in the loop of asking "why" things keep happening.
Why do I keep attracting the same kind of partner? Why do I feel responsible for everybody? Why do I overwork, overgive, overfunction?
But we get stuck on the why like it holds the key to healing. Spoiler alert: IT DOES NOT!
The why doesn’t shift the patterns. Naming the what is what helps:
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What’s happening now?
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What role do you desire to play now?
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What are the consequences of fulfilling that role now?
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And what responses do you have to the pattern now?
Girl…
You gotta understand the pattern—not just that your feelings got hurt.
Because this ain’t just about “healing from childhood.”
It’s about naming what it actually is:
🌀 A systemic cycle that just keeps spinning... if you dont make it stop with you.
That’s why Docked Ships is continuing to roll out The Problem Isn’t You, It’s the Pattern campaign—we tryna' get ahead of family reunion season. 👀
Because we NOT about to keep recycling this mess! Let’s unlearn together.
📅 Thursday, May 15, 2025 | 🕗 8PM EST | 💻 Zoom | 💰 $25 | 👉🏾 Click here
#TheProblemIsThePattern
Sharell D. Cannady, CEO of Docked Ships
PLEASE. PLEASE. SHARE THIS WITH OTHER BLACK WOMEN. AND HAVE THEM SUBSCRIBE: https://www.dockedships.com/stress-crisis-african-american-women-health
Wanna' revisit a blog/newsletter that had you like, “Wait a minute?”—No worries. Check em' out [click here].
At Dock Ships, we see "a future where African American women achieve social health & enjoy maximum wellness."
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Boundaries and Edges™ is a newsletter/blog that discusses the social health & wellness challenges of African American women. We bring awareness to what crosses boundaries and snatches edges. Every edition is crafted with high-achieving, over-functioning African American women in mind, blending humor, hard truths, and practical tips. With relatable insights and engaging visuals. It’ll make you cackle, cry, and aim for better. Subscribe today, and let’s grow our edges back and respect our boundaries — together!
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