Y'all, what is really going on with Black women and romantic relationships.

For real, for real.

And I'm not just talking about the Black women swiping on dating apps trying to find THE one.

I'm talking about ALL OF US.

💛 The Black women in connections that are undefined — some commitment present, but no clear name for what it is.

💛 The married Black women who feel stuck with a partner who's told them plainly: I'm not changing.

💛 The married Black women women whose partner is trying, and still isn't meeting the mark.

💛 The Black women who chose themselves and walked away from marriages because they got tired of waiting on change that never came.

💛 And the older Black women, single by choice or by circumstance, quietly looking for companionship on their own terms.

Different chapters. Same chokehold. 

I've been sitting with this — trying to understand why relationships hit us this hard, across every stage. And here's what I keep coming back to:

Many of us Black women were never taught to date. And underneath that, many of us were never truly nurtured — never made the emotional and mental center of someone's world growing up (and/or the presence of it was never truly made known or felt). So we go looking for that in men (and albeit that might not be what all of us are into... but I will use heteronormative relationships for the sake of my argument). And without meaning to, we put men on a pedestal.

Here's what I mean by that. Apart from the outright misinformed behavior — the games, the confusion, the mixed signals — we really do walk around believing men know what they're doing. That they're operating with some kind of internal clarity we don't have. AND THEY DON'T.

The Question We Skip

We're so busy scanning for deception that we miss the bigger tell — does this man know how to take care of HIMSELF emotionally and mentally? Because a lot of men can not see themselves or even understand why they do what they even do for that matter.

MEN are flawed human beings, struggling like everyone else, and we keep treating them like they're our answer to be LOVED and VALUED.

And moving into FALL 2026... I am going to introduce more programs and workshops and other things about relationship (and not just romantic)... cause this stuff has Black women in a CHOKEHOLD.